kristin has been a bad kristin
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
