the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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