at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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