I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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