I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
