So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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