Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
