Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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