Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
