My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
