That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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