Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
