i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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