We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
