I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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