true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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