and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
