I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
