I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
