There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
