I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
