I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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