Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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