bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
