You're so nebulous sometimes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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