he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
