The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
