That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
