Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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