that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
