He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
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