We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
there was a trapeze. enough said
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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