We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
