absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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