It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize