I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just found puke in my bra..
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
