Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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