he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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