It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
