Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
