If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
