Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
