I wish I only lived at night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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