Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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