thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
