I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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