the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
