dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
