Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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