She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
