therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
