dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
