we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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