This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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