he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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