Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
