It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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